patterns of being together
Aug. 27th, 2010 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
replacementpartsOh, also I talked to Edwin a little on aim today while getting ready for work. I was prepared to hold out on trying to contact him until monday, so I'm really glad he got in touch with me today. I did decide to keep the conversation on aim... I kinda don't think I could have dealt with a phone conversation at that point.
Cleared up a couple things I guess. I think he's trying a little too hard to stay somewhat aloof but I understand that, too. I know he wants me to be strong enough to stand on my own, and he's also worried that if he lets his guard down we might slip into the same patterns of being together all the time and not having that time for the stuff we each need to do individually.
We are going to be getting together on thursday, which is the one-year mark for the first time we hung out together outside of work. Our first date, though at the time I was kind of oblivious that's what it was supposed to be. We went to an aikido class together at the Y and then went to Triple Rock, got drunk, missed the last Bart train and stumbled the two miles home to my place. Good times.
This year I'm going to take him rock wall climbing, finally, assuming I can get my membership all worked out and everything beforehand. And hopefully it'll be the start of a new, healthier relationship.
I guess the baseline was that we wanted different things out of a relationship. He wanted something along the lines of friends with benefits because he needs his time to do his own work. Up until I feel pretty recently, I needed something more than that, and he went along with that for me and supported me through a really rough period of my life as I pushed through the early stages of my transition.
Now I feel like I'm more prepared to stand on my own, and be able to go to a relationship in a way that's not exactly casual, but isn't using it as a crutch, either. I do have concerns that this might just be a relationship model I can't deal with, but I definitely think he's worth it to try.
The option is there, as well, for dating other people, which he's encouraging. I'm not looking to jump right into anything right away or anything, but having the option helps me feel more comfortable getting out and trying to make new friends. I crush almost embarrassingly easily and it's nice not feeling like I have to try and stifle that when getting to know new people.
Cleared up a couple things I guess. I think he's trying a little too hard to stay somewhat aloof but I understand that, too. I know he wants me to be strong enough to stand on my own, and he's also worried that if he lets his guard down we might slip into the same patterns of being together all the time and not having that time for the stuff we each need to do individually.
We are going to be getting together on thursday, which is the one-year mark for the first time we hung out together outside of work. Our first date, though at the time I was kind of oblivious that's what it was supposed to be. We went to an aikido class together at the Y and then went to Triple Rock, got drunk, missed the last Bart train and stumbled the two miles home to my place. Good times.
This year I'm going to take him rock wall climbing, finally, assuming I can get my membership all worked out and everything beforehand. And hopefully it'll be the start of a new, healthier relationship.
I guess the baseline was that we wanted different things out of a relationship. He wanted something along the lines of friends with benefits because he needs his time to do his own work. Up until I feel pretty recently, I needed something more than that, and he went along with that for me and supported me through a really rough period of my life as I pushed through the early stages of my transition.
Now I feel like I'm more prepared to stand on my own, and be able to go to a relationship in a way that's not exactly casual, but isn't using it as a crutch, either. I do have concerns that this might just be a relationship model I can't deal with, but I definitely think he's worth it to try.
The option is there, as well, for dating other people, which he's encouraging. I'm not looking to jump right into anything right away or anything, but having the option helps me feel more comfortable getting out and trying to make new friends. I crush almost embarrassingly easily and it's nice not feeling like I have to try and stifle that when getting to know new people.